I wanna passion pit in your ass
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
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We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
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Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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