she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
