He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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