he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
