im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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