Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
