her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I think people are normalizing furries
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
