I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
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I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
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lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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