So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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