You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
