there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
