I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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