it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
