'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I think my moral compass just broke
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
