3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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