I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
