i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
