after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
