note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
