i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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