I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
4 words: hood of his car
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
