we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
