Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
