The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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