A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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