You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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