Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
