I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
