i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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