There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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