Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
