I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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