WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
