i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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