yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
