I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
it was like eating out sand paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize