question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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