There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
