no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
