I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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