i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
