Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
