I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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