I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
