bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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