I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
the raccoons are back...
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