a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
