please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
