thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize