well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
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Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
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Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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