are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
