How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I looked at my own cervix.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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