I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
True strength comes from lack of pants
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.