you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM