New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops