hotel room ftw
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.