I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
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the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
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I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it