porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I came home braless and wearing a tail....