Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
