oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
