Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
