She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
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